If you’ve spent time in the company of Māori couple Francis and Kaiora Tipene, the beloved stars of globally adored reality TV show , you’ll know they bring a lot of love to the funeral business they own and run together in Auckland.
Caring for late loved ones is a passionate way of life. They got into the business together when they were only 21, relocating from the tiny town of Kaitaia in the country’s far north, and have raised five sons, some of whom help out with the business. There are a lot of hugs and a great deal of Aotearoa’s [New Zealand] trademark dry humour.
A family affair, their staff are embraced in much the same way, as are the film crew who spent six months shadowing the employees of Tipene Funerals before the first season went to air in 2018.
Francis and Kaiora Tipene are ‘The Casketeers’. Source: Great Southern Television
But what do grieving families make of the presence of cameras and boom mics? “What you don’t realise, when you watch the show, is that they’re at least 15–20 metres away from the family and they don’t even know they’re there,” a dapper-suited and well-groomed Francis says. “They’re not up close. And in a cemetery, they might use a drone. From the beginning, the camera crew tested things and learned from their mistakes. And now they’ve made it into a very fine art, to catch these moments where the families are able to breathe.”
Francis is regularly astounded by simple moments of joy when he watches the show, and they get beautiful feedback from the families, who are supplied with unedited footage. “I like to know that it’s a nice tribute for them, to go back and turn it on and watch it again,” he says.
Honouring the spirit of Tangihanga for farewells both within and beyond the Māori community was made much more complicated by the global pandemic. “A lot of our rituals and protocols, our ceremonial traditions, were removed, but not only for us,” Francis acknowledges. “All around the world, it was very, very difficult. But especially when death in our Culture is a very hands-on approach, where families dress their own loved ones and take them in their cars to their homes or to the marae [tribal meeting grounds], not being able to embrace and give out aroha [love] to families at the time in which they needed it most was difficult.”
A funeral on season 5 of ‘The Casketeers’. Source: Great Southern Television
As he sees it, “Our rituals and cultural traditions weren’t broken. They changed to adapt to the situation, which we were all faced with as a country, and as a world.”
Francis is an unstoppable problem-solver. That includes figuring out how to get a casket through the awkwardly swishing doors of a coach to honour a former bus driver. “We’re always placing caskets on trailers and trucks and towed on the back of motorbikes,” he notes. “And so the only difficult part about it was that the cameras are watching us. I was thinking, ‘Oh my gosh, everyone’s thinking “What are you doing?”’ but we got there in the end with a bit of ingenuity.”
We should all be more open to talking about what makes for a good death, Francis reckons. “It’s not at the top of your list, with work, everyday life, paying bills and this and that,” he acknowledges. “But it’s a seed that needs to be planted, because even the healthiest people die just like that at a gym. When it happens, you’re stuck. You’re shocked.”
“Our rituals and cultural traditions weren’t broken. They changed to adapt to the situation…” Francis Tipene Source: Great Southern Television
But the blow can be lessened if we actively plan for it together, discussing what we would like to happen with our funeral, and even preparing financially to ease the burden on those we leave behind. Francis recommends factoring in their wishes too. “One of the things to keep in mind is that once this is over, obviously you’re dead and gone. So, bear in mind their feelings. What’s going to help them with their grief? Then try and intertwine your wishes.”
A lot of individual care goes into tailoring the ceremonies Francis and Kaiora host, with a stand-out of season 5 being the intersection of Māori and Muslim cultures in honouring one woman known to the couple. “That the family agreed to share her story, that was a blessing,” Francis says. “Not only for us, but for the viewers too. There’s so much learning that can take place. I love Culture. I love ritual. I love ceremony. And it’s so nice to see how people do things differently.”
I love Culture. I love ritual. I love ceremony. And it’s so nice to see how people do things differently.
Details matter to Francis. He’s constantly darting around town, picking up “lovely ideas” to make Tipene Funerals’ parlours shine, like a three-tiered chandelier in the opening episode of season 5 that he says evokes the holy trinity. This elicits a classic eye-roll from Kaiora, who says with a wry laugh, “I’ve got nothing to say about that.”
For all their minor tussles, it’s clear there’s a whole lotta love shared between them. But the rigours of the job and of filming take a toll on the couple. “Our lives got a bit busy,” Francis says. “But that’s okay.”
They’ll never let the families they work with feel there’s no time for them. “We’re never too busy for anyone that has died, or for anyone that needs help. We love what we do immensely.”
Season 5 of The Casketeers premieres with a double episode at 9.25pm, Monday 29 August on SBS VICELAND. Double episodes continue weekly on Monday nights. Catch up after the episodes go to air.
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