This article contains references to sexual assault and child assault.
I was in my first few years of primary school when I was brought to the front of the classroom by my teacher and forced to repeat to the class that ‘I would never amount to anything more than a class clown, and that I was a silly little boy’. Then I was whacked in the back of the head with a rolled-up newspaper. All this for talking out of turn, yet again.
Today, I’m 31. I work as an account manager, own my house with my partner, and run the Largest LARP (Live Action Role Playing) community in NSW. Yet those words from my school days, coupled with many other horrific experiences in my youth, haunt me to this day.
My childhood was pretty typical for many men in Australia. I grew up in a military household. My dad worked long hours and was posted every few years, which saw me attend three different primary schools. Because of my transient relationships with people, I learned how to make friends quickly and adapted my humour as my main way of relating to others.
Tadd grew up in a military household.
During my high school years, I also experienced repeated sexual abuse and felt that some of those around me had even blamed me for it. This led me to lash out at those seeking to bully me, only compounding the level of violence in my life.
With my family unit falling apart, failed personal relationships and a battle to manage my undiagnosed depression, anxiety, ADHD and dyscalculia [sometimes called maths dyslexia], it crippled my ability to perform at school. I sought the only escape I thought possible. I attempted suicide.
Since then, it has been an incredibly arduous road. Depression and anxiety are things you learn to manage, not something that you one day ‘get over’. In the process of trying to rebuild my life and find myself, I created Battlecry.
Battlecry is a live action role-playing game (LARP) group, based in western Sydney. It’s a safe, supportive community of like-minded people who participate in regular combat events every Friday night. I created the community with the single goal of providing something that drew other people who may be dealing with something, may be trying to find themselves, and having something they can enjoy together.
LARP has taught me many important things over my time running it, some of which have changed my reality (my perception of the wider world). Given the opportunity, people will stab you in the back for little more than the satisfaction of hurting you. But it’s those who stick with you, remove the knife, and take the burdens off you while you heal that are worth fighting for. That's biggest changed reality for me.
Depression and anxiety are things you learn to manage, not something that you one day ‘get over’.Tadd Lyons
LARPing has allowed me to discover myself as a man. I lost myself along my journey through life and struggled with how I wanted to be seen, who I was, and where I wanted to be. Battlecry helped solidify my sense of self through meaningful connections. Without the friendships I forged at games, and the experiences I've shared LARPing, I’d be in a pretty dark place.
I will always advocate, fight and champion LARP, Battlecry and those within its community. They’ve given me a reason to live, and all I can do is hope to repay that.
If you or someone you know is impacted by sexual assault, call 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 or visit . In an emergency, call 000.
Readers seeking crisis support can contact Lifeline on 13 11 14, the Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467 and Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800 (for young people aged up to 25). More information and support with mental health is available at and on 1300 22 4636.
