'I make no apologies': Yumi Stynes responds to Welcome to Sex critics

Yumi Stynes says she has received death threats from some critics of her new book, Welcome to Sex, but she doesn't regret writing it.

A woman standing on stage holding a microphone with one hand in the air.

Welcome to Sex, co-authored by Yumi Stynes (pictured), has attracted criticism from some quarters. Source: SIPA USA / SOPA Images/PA/Alamy

KEY POINTS
  • Yumi Stynes and Dr Melissa Kang's book Welcome to Sex was published in May.
  • But this week, the book attracted criticism from some quarters online.
  • Stynes said she is "very proud" of the book and makes "no apologies".
Yumi Stynes' new sex education book has ignited a firestorm online, been pulled from the shelves of one major retailer, and has even sparked death threats against the author.

But a defiant Stynes stands by Welcome to Sex, released in May, in the face of conservative campaigners who this week labelled it inappropriate for children, with some even going so far as to call it a form of "grooming".

The backlash has been so intense Big W stopped selling the book in-store after staff members were abused, although the retailer has defended it and it remains available online.

"I've seen people saying to me 'I want to kill you' or 'You should die'," Stynes told SBS News.

But she does not regret writing it.

"The book is out there in the world and I make no apologies for the book," Stynes said. "I am very proud of it."
A book with a title that reads: "Welcome to Sex!"
Welcome to Sex is written by TV and radio personality Yumi Stynes and Dr Melissa Kang — an associate professor at Sydney Medical School and former advice columnist Dolly Doctor Source: Supplied / Big W
Stynes, a TV and radio personality and mother of four, co-wrote the 300-page book with Dr Melissa Kang — an associate professor at The University of Sydney's School of Medicine who for 23 years was advice columnist Dolly Doctor and answered reader-submitted questions on everything from kissing to sex until the teen magazine folded in 2016.

"Doctor Melissa kept all those letters and used them as a springboard for answering the questions that kids want to know about sex," Stynes said when describing how the book came about.

Critics have shared photos of sections of the book online that contain illustrations of genitalia and specific sex acts, insisting they are inappropriate for the eyes of children.
A conservative podcaster shared a video of the book on social media and accused Big W of selling books that "are grooming our children" and exposing them to "sexually explicit and highly inappropriate material".

Others have praised the book, the latest in a series Stynes and Kang have co-authored, describing it as a valuable resource that can help facilitate discussion on sex education and help keep young people safe.

Research by found that a third of teenagers had had sex by age 16-17. That same study found that 53 per cent of boys and 14 per cent of girls had viewed pornography intentionally before the age of 16.

Stynes said children are inevitably going to raise questions about sex, and Welcome to Sex was well-researched and a much better resource than "the unbridled infiniteness of the internet".
"Parents can choose when to give it to their kids," she said, explaining that they can sit down and read it with their children, or give it to them to read themselves.

"It's a much better resource than pornography... and a much better resource than the unbridled infiniteness of the internet."

She said early in the book it is explained that educating children about sex does not make them "want to do the thing they've been educated about".

"It's not going to hurt a kid to hear about sex, and anyone who's had a kid or spent time with them understands that they have a huge curiosity about sex when they're ready."

Sex education books are also nothing new. Indeed, Dr Emma Whatman, a subject coordinator in gender studies at the University of Melbourne who researches sex education, is part of a project examining books on the subject.

There have been more than 1,000 published since 1975, she said.
A person walking towards the entrance of a shopping centre. A sign above reads: "Big W".
Big W has stopped selling Welcome to Sex in stores after staff members were abused amid a backlash. It remains available online. Source: Getty / Kelly Barnes
Whatman said critics are "cherry-picking" sections of the 300-page book.

"The stuff that does talk about different sexual acts is in the middle and is cushioned by broader discussions on emotions, feelings, consent, and respectful relationships," she said.

Parents should take a look at Welcome to Sex themselves, Whatman said, adding that comprehensive sex education was "effective at empowering young people and keeping them safe".

"It's [the book] is actually a safeguard," she said. "It's not doing the kind of grooming that it's being accused of, it's actually working to do the complete opposite."

Whatman said talking about sex can be awkward for parents and young people, and books like Welcome to Sex are among the tools they can use to facilitate discussion.
She said they were a safer option than children searching certain terms online, which could expose them to "really sexually explicit pornographic content".

"A book like this is something a parent can purchase, take a look at themselves, and engage their child or teenager in a staggered way," she said.

"So they could look at the first few chapters on language and body parts... and then when they feel comfortable, can maybe let the young person work with the book themselves."

A Big W spokesperson said in a statement the retailer had ceased selling the book in stores after "multiple incidents of abuse" directed at staff in recent days, but would continue to sell the book online as part of its parenting range.

The book's publisher, Hardie Grant, said the "Welcome to" series was "designed to support parents as they navigate" conversations on topics including consent, menstruation, and sex.

"Every young person develops at their own rate, and parents and caregivers are encouraged to make their own decisions about what is appropriate to share with their family," Kate Brown, managing director of Hardie Grant Children's Publishing, said in a statement.

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5 min read
Published 20 July 2023 6:50pm
By David Aidone
Source: SBS News


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