In the 1980s, Marcela had a clandestine abortion in Chile, a country living in fear under the rules of the Pinochet dictatorship. Marcela's 'backstreet' abortion was a harrowing experience that left her with emotional scars.
Abortion law debate continues in Australia, and has not yet been decriminalised in New South Wales, Queenlsand and South Australia. Latin America still has some of the toughest abortion laws in the world. Despite growing calls to legalise the procedure, it remains criminalised or severely restricted in almost every country in the region.
“I’m still in shock from the whole experience,” Marcela says. “No one is prepared for an experience like this, even more so at such a young age.”
Marcela as a baby with her grandmother and greatgrandmother. Source: Supplied
Marcela, a mother of two who lives in Australia, grew up in the Chilean resort city of Viña del Mar during the early years of the 1973-1990 military dictatorship. She was raised in a working-class family, with her father in the Navy and she attended a Catholic school.
Like many of her peers, she married young, aged 17, and had a baby a year later.
Marcela with her parents on her communion day. Source: Supplied
The birth was traumatic. Her daughter, weighing 4.2 kilograms, was big and one doctor even threw himself on Marcela’s stomach in an effort to deliver the baby. She fainted during the delivery.
In the early 1980s, Chile was suffering a major economic crisis and her husband’s furniture business was losing money. Marcela fell pregnant again.
Marcela with her first daughter. Source: Supplied
“The only thing I knew was that I could not have another child because I wouldn’t be able to maintain one. I couldn’t take the responsibility,” she says.
“No one wants to have an abortion, no one wants to lose a child, but there are circumstances in which there is no other option.
“I don’t regret doing it, because in that moment I made the decision thinking about my responsibilities.”
But her Catholic upbringing and the dangers of illegal abortion made it a tough decision. Sex education, contraceptives and abortion were taboo subjects at school, and they were rarely discussed in Chilean homes.
“Sexual education didn’t exist. In school no one spoke about it. Sex in this era was for animals. I had never seen a condom,” she says.
A 'backstreet' abortion
Fortunately, Marcela’s mother was on her side.
“My mother found a nurse who gave me injections to remove the fetus. But this didn’t work. I tried to throw myself down the stairs as I had heard that was a solution to abortion."
When nothing worked, her mother found a doctor who was known in their city, Valparaiso. She was a midwife at the Navy hospital where she was known for assisting the military families.
"When the soldiers of the Chilean Armed Forces travelled regularly, they arrived, and the women got pregnant, and that's why this lady did all the abortions for the women there."
Marcela and her mother took a bus to the midwife’s house in Valparaiso.
“It looked like any other regular house in town,” Marcella recalls. “Entering the house, I was scared. Someone could have [found out] what I was doing. Someone could arrive and take me to the police.”
The midwife led them to a waiting room and told Marcela’s mother to stay there. She took Marcela to the second floor.
“I sat beside the window. Beside me there was a tray with all her equipment, pliers and other things that I can’t remember. I just remember she sat me in a seat and left me there. She told me she would return in an hour.”
It was an anxious wait. Marcela was about to have an illegal and unsafe procedure without anesthetic. She was scared and anguished.
“But there I was and I couldn’t go back. (The midwife) returned with a bed and told me, ‘Lie there, lift your legs and open them’. And from there I don’t know (what happened next)… I can’t remember because I’ve blocked it from my memory.
“I just remember afterwards she said, ‘You’re ready, you can go.’ I didn’t want to look,” Marcela says, her voice breaking as she recounts what happened to her.
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Across Latin America the issue of abortion continues to deeply divide communities. From Guatemala to Chile and Argentina to El Salvador, the Catholic Church and conservative Christian groups clash with supporters of a growing abortion rights movement.
Recently, a few Latin American countries have debated relaxing outright bans on abortion. In September last year, Chile passed a new law decriminalising abortion in some circumstances. These are when the woman’s health is in danger, a fetus is not viable and in cases of rape or incest if the pregnancy is no more than 12 weeks.
This year Argentina’s lower house of Congress voted for the first time to legalise abortion in the first 14 weeks of pregnancy. However, the bill was later rejected by the Senate.
Meanwhile, the stakes continue to rise. An estimated 6.5 million abortions take place across Latin America each year. The procedures are often carried out in illegal clinics or in homes. Each year Argentina sees almost 50,000 women hospitalised for complications arising from illegal abortions and 43 women died in 2016.
‘I don’t need to hide anymore’
More than three decades on, the experience remains raw and Marcela says this is the first time she has completely opened up about it.
“Now it hurts – not because I did it – but [because of] the way it was carried out.
“I know that I made a decision that, for me, was educated. Everyone has their own opinion, but I believe that we all have the right to fair treatment, and not to be judged by others. People should put themselves in others’ shoes.
“I’ve felt guilty right up until this moment. But sharing this experience is a relief because I don’t need to hide. It is my responsibility to share what I have done as I don’t want the same to happen to my children.”
"If I had had another child, maybe nobody would have given me a hand. Everyone is so against abortion and worry about life, but how many children are in the streets and nobody cares. Let's worry about that."
Like many other women who have had clandestine terminations in Latin America, Marcela was fearful of what people would say if they found out and that they might report her to the police.
The fight to legalise abortion in Latin America
Soon after she had the abortion, Marcela, her husband and her two-year-old daughter migrated to Australia. Although her marriage ended, she rebuilt her life and had a son with her new partner.
Marcela is concerned that in 2018 women in Latin America are still forced to take huge risks to have abortions.
“It was a heavy experience and it’s a shame that we still need to go to great lengths to fight for its legalisation.”
