Is your child being bullied at school or online? Key steps you need to take

Australia Explained - Bullying

Bullying typically targets those perceived to be different in some way, including looks, speech, background, religion, race, culture, and body size, says Dr Deborah Green of the University of South Australia. Credit: Maskot/Getty Images/Maskot

Experts say that dealing with bullying behaviours is never easy but always necessary, as the harm caused can impact children for years. To provide up-to-date advice on supporting a child experiencing bullying at school or online, we consult specialists in education, psychology, and cyberbullying response.


Key Points
  • Bullying can involve one or more people, and depending on the situation what is perceived as ‘harmless’ school-age teasing can also amount to bullying.
  • Schools have processes in place for bullying prevention and response.
  • Cyberbullying is reportable in Australia.
Dr Deborah Green of the University of South Australia's Education Futures department notes that one in four students in Australia, from Year 4 to Year 9, report being bullied every week.

However, bullying behaviours can target children of any age and have enduring impacts on both the victim and society.

“Bullying's been reported to cost society 2.3 million Australian dollars, which is incurred while the child is at school and 20 years after they've graduated,” Dr Green explains referencing costs incurred for medical needs of victims.

“But more importantly, this behaviour has significant negative impact on a person's mental health, quality of life and general well-being, for years after graduation.”
Australia Explained - Bullying
In recent research, Australian children reported that hurtful teasing was the most common bullying behaviour that they experienced, followed by having hurtful lies told about them. Credit: FatCamera/Getty Images

What is bullying and cyberbullying?

Not all bullying behaviours are straightforward, but even playful teasing amongst children can cross the line, Dr Green says.

“If we look at the current Australian definition for bullying, it states that it is an ongoing and deliberate misuse of power in relationships through repeated verbal, physical and/or social behaviour that intends to cause harm, whether that be physical, social and or psychological.”

The elements of intent, power, and repetition are what differentiate it from teasing and just being mean, she explains.

“But we need to be a little bit careful because when that sort of behaviour causes harm to the person that is experiencing it and it's ongoing, it sort of crosses the line and becomes bullying.”

The same applies to cyberbullying, which can range from nasty comments through to more serious forms.
Australia Explained - Bullying
Cyberbullying may escalate to fake impersonating accounts, threats of violence and even sexually explicit content generated using AI (Artificial Intelligence) technologies. Credit: fcafotodigital/Getty Images

Reporting online bullying

Paul Clark is the Executive Manager for Education, Prevention, and Inclusion at the , the government agency helping Australians experiencing online bullying or abuse.

He explains that when eSafety investigators receive an online bullying report, they review both content and context of the incident to make a determination.

“I can give you an example where there was a young boy we helped out whose parents reported a series of posts, and anonymous accounts that were mocking their son's love of buses. From afar, something like that seems very trivial, but context is key. And this boy was living with disability and was experiencing a broad pattern of online abuse.

“So, our investigators determined that it met the threshold for action and took steps to have it successfully removed.”

Prevention efforts

Dr Green works alongside Dr Carmel Taddeo on a research project for the team, an Australia-wide government initiative supporting school communities in bullying prevention.
Australia Explained - Bullying
School policies vary, but every school is expected to have bullying prevention strategies, reporting procedures, and provide support to affected students. Source: Moment RF / Natalia Lebedinskaia/Getty Images
Dr Taddeo outlines the typical course of action when a bullying incident is reported at school.

“Generally, information will be collected and documented to establish how best to intervene and what is needed to ensure the safety and well-being of the students, and students may be referred to specialist supports and services.”

What parents and carers can do

Making an appointment with the school leadership or lodging a formal complaint with the school, are options available to parents-carers if they are not satisfied with proposed solutions or the bullying behaviour is continuing.

“Now, if a student or parent-carer is not happy with the steps taken by a school, they can call their education department’s complaints management line.”

“Bullying can also be illegal and the website can provide young people with useful, free and confidential legal advice about the topic,” Dr Taddeo adds.
Australia Explained - Bullying
If your child is engaging in bullying behaviours, ask them to explain the why without assigning labels, decide on appropriate consequences and explore opportunities at school and beyond for building their social and emotional skills, Dr Taddeo advises. Credit: triloks/Getty Images
The first step for a parent-guardian when their child is at the receiving end of bullying, is to reassure them they are there to support them.

Dr Taddeo provides some practical advice for how to stay calm and effective in navigating the school reporting process, starting with requesting a meeting with the child's teacher or the school councillor.

“When meeting with school staff it's important to bring your notes in, explain what has happened, ask what specific steps will be taken and over what time period. Ask about confidentiality and any support that may be available for their child if they choose to access.

“Also keep meeting notes each time you meet the school staff and continue to touch base.”

When it comes to online bullying, eSafety’s Mr Clark outlines key actions needed when a cyberbullying incident occurs.

“Take screenshots and record the URLs before helping the child to mute or block the accounts.

“If you report it to the platform where the bullying is happening and the platform fails to act, by reporting it to , we've got those powers that require the removal of any seriously harmful content.”

Mr Clark says, in any suspected or confirmed case of cyberbullying the advice to parents is to resist the urge to take away their child’s device.

“It can have the effect of deterring children from asking for help in the future because they get scared their device will be taken away. So instead, we recommend that parents support their child through the situation together and ensure they've got the emotional support they need.”
Australia Explained - Bullying
Children can respond by walking away, using humour to deflect, or ignoring the person exhibiting bullying behaviour, but these are only short-term strategies, Mr Kendall explains. Credit: FangXiaNuo/Getty Images
Jamie Kendall is a Counsellor at , the free 24/7 telephone and online counselling service accessible to children as young as five.

He encourages children to always seek adult support if they are the recipient of a behaviour that is ongoing or has negative impact on how they feel.

“Talking to someone as soon as it starts happening is the best way to really have support in managing it. Even if you were to say to an adult at home or another trustworthy adult, ‘I feel OK trying to work through this on my own right now. But at some point, if it continues, I might need your help’.”

For adults, the first thing to do is give the child the opportunity to voice what’s happening.

Mr Kendall suggests ways to frame the conversation, when they suspect bullying, but the child denies it.

“In a way that a trustworthy adult might behave so something like ‘I know that you're telling me that something isn't happening, but I still have a feeling that maybe something is. Would you mind if I check in with one of your teachers at school? Just to see how things are going for you and if they're getting a different story'.

Ultimately, he says, dealing with bullying requires collective input from trustworthy adults in the child’s life.

“So, we can work as a community to help young people who are experiencing bullying. It doesn't just have to be them talking to one person. We can work as a network.”
Australia Explained - Bullying
Children may not always give an honest answer over bullying, but acknowledging the experience is an empowering step, Mr Kendall explains. “If they can voice it to you themselves, that's going to help them feel more in charge.” Credit: triloks/Getty Images

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